The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
