She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
