we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
