Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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