I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
