Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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