Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
