remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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