Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
