now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
