Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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