He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize