I seem to have left my pride at pride
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
