I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
