You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
