Whod you bang
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
