Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
