It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
