My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
