I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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