I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Randomize
