you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
