and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
