Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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