i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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