It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
