I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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