The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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