i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I touched a dick in church today
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
