well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize