Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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