he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
