His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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