yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
