No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
