Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
