I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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