I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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