the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
