I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
