Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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