She's like a pop up book from hell.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
