She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
