Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize