i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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