how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
