Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
