just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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