There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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