Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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