she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
