Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
