And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
