Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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