Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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