Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
