I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
