that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
