well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
