I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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