So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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