I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
