I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
