Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
