At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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