isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
