Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
